Is Christmas Commercialised?

 Yes, yes it is. I went out to the shops today. Everywhere I looked from what to wear to a thousand different ways to stuff a turkey, Christmas is commercialised. The meaning of the celebration which is Christs birth has long been forgotten in a xmas bonanza of egg nog lattes and pink xmas tree's. 

There are shops specialising in what to wear for xmas, that all important big event, the main attraction being a table stuffed full of treats. But why are you even doing this? Do you even know where the turkey came from? Do you know why we have presents? Do you even know that church is open for a service on xmas day? Do you even know why we celebrate December 25th? or has it all been lost in German markets and crunchy sausages and flat warm beer? 

I looked through my copy of Good Housekeeping today and out of around 100 pages telling me what to eat, wear, smell like on the 'big day' I found one article by Rev Kate Botley. She asked the same questions such as is xmas commercialised. Its worth a read for this sane article itself.

Tomorrow I may go out and brave the German Market (what has this got to do with Christs birth?) to get to the dreaded Primark as my son needs some sweatshirts. I hate so many people being out but in the run up to xmas no one is staying indoors, with women out in the tightest clothing possible for the Christmas period of cold temperatures. And everyone else walking around with tinsel in their hair and new false Christmas nails a go go. The buses are packed and with my bad back I need to sit down but all seats are taken up by pensioners and buggy'. I really wish I could drive.

Maybe Im being grumpy, I am on the tail end of a manic episode, but I'm just sickly at the sight of people celebrating the 'big day' when no one actually knows or cares for the reason for the season.

Big Saver

 I'm Teetotal but if you ever catch me drinking the mulled wine, don't let me convince you I can do a backflip.

NO. I. CANT.

Black Friday deal : Saving money on Chiropractic.

Heating or Eating, its not just pensioners freezing this winter.

 I know there is a lot of talk about pensioners going cold this winter and I feel for them, I really do. But what about people like me who are also on benefits and cant afford to heat my home? I have a heater in each room and I heat my rooms as I go in it. 3 people in my house dependant on one heater, per room. We too have to decide between heating and eating. Our house has a damp and mould problem also, so private sector doesn't have adequate housing either for the winter. Its not just me its the silent majority. Its not just pensioners that are cold. Last year we all got pneumonia , this year we have already had a bad cold and the temperatures are not even that low yet.

I've spoken to loads of people in my situation in private rent and on benefits and they cant afford to heat their homes either. Often damp and mouldy properties and the families are paying in excess of £1,500 a month for rent. Its not just pensioners that are cold and hungry.
There needs to be a real campaign for public sector housing, more homes need to be built and built to last, built to withstand the elements. There is a major shortage of homes, and we need affordable housing for everyone, I mean everyone. This cannot go on it isn't sustainable.

Rishi Sunak 'Unlimited'

 Rishi Sunak and his wife avoiding public scrutiny by changing their company to 'unlimited'... just as David Cameron did ...

Seems to be a pattern with Tory Prime Ministers eh?

I wonder why?

Cold is full force. Psychosis injection due.

 The cold we all have is absolutely dire. It consists of a head cold that leaves you feeling every tooth in your head throb. Sudafed is king here. Today I had my depot so I had to go to a medical centre to have it. I cannot miss this injection it keeps the psychosis at bay. It works really well for me despite the side effects. I still have not heard about Latuda from the doctors and its been over a week now.

We are all flued up so we have decided to cancel the wreath making workshop I was looking forward too. I'm giving away my two tickets to my church family community for 2 people to get in for free. I wouldn't want the tickets to go to waste. There is no way me, Paul and Barry are up to foraging for berries and pine cones for making a wreath. Besides I have no idea where my secateurs are.

I stopped off for a spiced chai at the coffee shop on the way back from my depot. I needed a hot drink to carry me home. Strange how I only felt really unwell when I actually got back home. My costochondritis is really playing up too. I am doing gentle exercise but its not going away. I may have to go back for steroid injections.

My cat Noah is also playing up. She has disabilities but that aside she is just being a shit. She scratches at the kitchen door for it to be opened, only to then scratch at the same door to come back into the room. She is doing it for attention as she only goes in the kitchen for a few seconds before she wants to come back. She is not hungry or thirsty and she doesn't want to go out or use her litter. She just wants to recruit Barry as an unpaid doorman to chauffeur her in and out of the kitchen, because that's what love does, love obeys a cats every need.

Had a mixture of honey, thyme, wild ivy, Echinacea, garlic and Sudafed max. Lets hope I can sleep. Last night my restless legs kicked in. It feels like Dettol in your veins that builds and builds and builds to a crescendo and then results in a muscle cramp. Its impossible to sleep through it. I take Pramipexol for it but it is not very good. Im worried because they say Latuda can cause restlessness. Its particularly debilitating when I am so tired then when it hits I cannot sleep. I bought two leg massage sleeves to put over my arms and legs to try and massage the pain away. It works to a degree. I don't know why they also call it restless legs as it affects arms just as much and when it hits I know no matter what I do I wont sleep for hours. It is literally torture. 

Here is hoping with all my conditions that I get some sleep tonight. 

Night all.

Snuffles and pissed at Deliveroo.

 We all have a cold! Tissues and heaters are the order of the day. We have a wreath making workshop to go to on Friday which I dont think we will attend. I've got to get my depot injection on Wednesday and the house valuation is also on Friday. I'm sure if we feel no better tomorrow we will have to cancel too. My family are supposed to be coming down on Saturday so I have to be better for them. Honestly each year we catch the flue because of how cold it is in this house. We have heaters on but it doesn't keep the cold at bay. Last year we all had a chest infection that turned into pneumonia. 

Perhaps moving out is a blessing rather than a hurt after all, besides if like me its a choice between heating and eating maybe moving to a property with a higher EPC rating is just as well. Meanwhile I have my beef with Deliveroo. Spent £30 on cold and flu supplements only for the driver to give me someone else's bag. I opened it up to find senna and califig that I spend all that money on. There were two bottles of water so I didn't notice the weight difference. By the time I went back outside he was long gone. I contacted Deliveroo and eventually and I mean eventually they gave us a refund. Not without a bloody struggle though. 

Honestly if you dont know your job or are unhappy with it, do someone a favour and get a job you like or at least can get on with. The driver was so grumpy and annoyingly he asked my date of birth and code. Then gave me the wrong order. Someone out there has got a bag full of remedies for free as I expect they will ask for a refund too. I hope the driver was told what he did as it was out or order and he may be doing that with everyone, i mean he had one job , look at the label and give the right bag to the right door.

Honestly its not rocket science! I'm now about as stable as a bedsheet that keeps popping off at the corner. I'm snuffled up and I am relying on Sudafed and I could have done without Deliveroo being morons.

Wedding Anniversary weekend, Christ The King and Sleep reset.

 Apologies for no blog entry over the weekend. As the title says it was my wedding anniversary and also Christ The King. I didnt actually make it to church because my son's sleep pattern has gone out. He is autistic amongst other disabilities and he has Melatonin to help him sleep but every now and then he does what we call a sleep reset. This is where he stays up for as long as possible and then goes to sleep. It takes a few days for his sleep rhythm to right itself but compared to him going to bed at 4am and sleeping until 1pm every day the sleep re set works as eventually he will go bed at midnight and wake up at around 8am. I hate these sleep resets as it means I cant leave the house as Paul is also type 1 diabetic and not quite fully independent yet with this. So therefore I couldn't go to church and when you think about the fact that even when I got married I still went to Christ The King the next day. You can gather how much CTK means to me.

I have not had Holy Communion since Easter. Every week I try and make it to church yet something always comes up. Ive spent a large part of the year mentally unwell so didnt feel confident to go on my own. Plus there is a new Priest I have not met yet so its all a bit much for me to go through at the moment. Besides I watch my church live stream every week and there are some things that I personally consider cringe like dancing to songs and action songs designed for kids but we all have to do it. This is where knitting at church comes into play. Thankfully we get an email about church each week and sometimes we are warned about the action songs. 

Barry and I have agreed to resume looking for a place to live. Our tenancy is up in February even though the landlady says she will sell with us in situ its likely she will issue us with a section 21 for eviction in February because lets be honest who sells a property these days with tenants in it? We are going to look and do viewings this month and hopefully move in January. I just want an end to this where do we live in a few months?, thoughts in my head. It feels horrible not knowing where you are going to live. I just want to move and be done with. So that's, that.

Its a wreath making activity for me and Paul to do in a few days. Paul isnt impressed but I think it will do him good to do a craft activity outside the home. There are also lots of activities at church coming up including his old school friends coming to our church for a craft afternoon. I am going to try and persuade him to go to that one. No midnight mass at our local church for the umpteenth year in a run. I might go to a different church that does do midnight mass. I don't know why every church doesn't do midnight mass, it used to be the highlight of the church year. Well for me anyway. Most churches say they do a Christmas service so do this instead of midnight mass. I think churches should do both. 

So we are nearly in December, who knows what the month will bring. I've booked a small getaway for Christmas day and hopefully we will go to Mottisfont. But with house viewings we will have to see. 

What are your plans for December?

For the love of all things...we are NOT at war (in the UK)

 Why on earth does everyone describe their goods as bloody 'buttery soft'? New plants? buttery soft leaves, New knickers? buttery soft gusset. New lampshade? buttery soft touch? Marks n spencer sandwich...buttery soft... butter. 

Not everything is BUTTERY SOFT! 

Equally another irk of mine is Putin. 

Some of the media are showing they are afraid of nuclear war. They believe that Putin is insane enough to launch nuclear weapons.

They also believe that such an insane man can be negotiated with.

What do you believe?

The Truth Movement by a former 'Truther'

About 14 years ago I was caught up with the 'Truth' movement. A global idea that there are a ruling class of elites that govern the world for there wicked agenda. There was a new world order, a one world government, one world currency, HAARP, Chemtrails the list goes on. 911 was an inside job and we are all being secretly controlled by the Illuminati. I was so into all of this. On my facebook were hundreds of other truthers around the world and together it was our job to 'wake' the world up to these conspiracies. 

During this time I discovered the truth about Christ, and came to faith. This is the only good thing that came from this time. I started to question everything. The bible says to test everything hold fast to that which is good. So as I began questioning living off grid and chemtrails I met with annoyance from my truther family. Some started calling me names and coldly calling me out as a sheep. I still questioned everything until I met with sane people who told me I was right to question such insanity.

There is no illuminati, do your research. You will find the history of the illuminati not the present day illuminati. Chemtrails? really? again do your research. You will find no such spraying of chemicals taking place, at least not now. I'm not going to tell you , you will have to research and go and speak to people face to face like I did. Jesus isn't real he is made up for the ignorant masses? Again do your research. 

Everything I once believed and people I followed like Alex Jones, David Icke...they are all businessmen. They offer titbits of information but never any solutions. If they offered solutions they would be out of a job. I believe Icke to have split personality. He certainly isn't the son of god. I lost good friends as I turned to Christ and came away from the truth movement. friends that I still don't speak to because they are in the thick of it. I'm the one who has my eyes closed apparently. I write this as Im listening to a classic truther soundtrack.

It brings back memories some fond ones, of that time in my life. One thing I have taken away from that time is my ability to research and question. It led me to theology and to scholars who have walked the path way before me. My Facebook now has mature folk in the faith and I am surrounded by a loving church family. I still listen to conspiracies and views but I take a step back and see the whole picture now, look at both sides. Try to be as wise as a serpent but gentle as a dove.

Speaking of being gentle, I got my membership cards through from the National Trust together with a handbook and guide. 

Its all about living life gently, reconnecting with nature, taking walks, cold water swimming in unpolluted waters, playing football with your kids, glamping, homesteading sensibly and being there in person face to face with people and trying to leave the digital world behind. I now have a list of places to go to from the National Trust where I can experience all these things in peace.

I'm not sitting on Facebook waiting for my truther friends to update me with another Icke announcement, like he is some god. He is a false prophet and the bible warns about him and others like him. I just feel sad for those friends who deleted me especially when I came to Faith. To them they just saw organised religion whereas i saw a relationship with Christ. I do miss some of those people who besides their views about being 'awake' they were good people. Shame they have been lost into another system, and for some I don't see any way out except for faith in Christ.

Peaceful day

Had a peaceful day, managed to call the DWP and Universal Credit. Both confirmed the amount we owe, and that they wouldn't take it back in one lump sum. They are going to take it back in small increments over the next year or so. So that's a worry out of my mind.

I noticed Right Move estate agents sent me a list of 28 new properties to look through. Barry has a property viewing Friday morning. I am hoping we will go for it as you know I just want to move and be done with. Its not far from where we currently live but a new area all the same. 

Paul is doing really well with his home education. Today I discussed college with him and a college course not far from us that is gaming development. I also told him he could go straight into work and the average salary for a game developer is around £30 an hour. He was amazed. I also told him he could easily go into lighting and audio as a side hustle if he came to terms with different software and technology. For now we are doing a diploma in Game Development. College is not far off and that he would need various GCSE's to get into the college first. I am emailing the college for further advice, although last time I did this they ignored me.

I am knitting a new scarf for a Jamaican gentleman who gets cold really easily. I am trying to be quick about it, but my back is really playing up. I've been to Chiropractic but my back is still being naughty. I am sat here with a hot water bottle on and listening to music to take my mind off of the pain.

Paul is here with me as Barry has gone out and Paul is showing my the latest inventions in cyberspace. He is definitely a games developer in the making. Its good because at 44 I still don't know what I want to do and Paul has figured it out age 13. The boy will go far. 

Heres my view at the moment...because I missed the snow!

HMRC Strikes, Xmas lights, Oh Brother!

 Well I was doing quite well until the post came. Apparently we have been overpaid by the DWP and owe around £500. No explanation, no proof of breakdown, nothing. They say it so it must be right. On top of that they say that the figure we are looking at might change and they will confirm this in writing.They say the DWP will write to us and you can bet your backside they will take it in one lump sum just before Xmas. 

And its not just us, a few of our friends have had this letter also. We are going to call the DWP back tomorrow to confirm this is accurate and not some scam. They left no breakdown, dates etc of when this overpayment happened. How do we even know if it is correct? Another headache for us to sort out.

I did however manage to speak to my brother. This is a rarity. He is always busy with his three gorgeous children, and I understand this so dont push the matter. One of his kids, my nephew is turning out to be a superstar. I cant go into details here on this blog but lets just say he is a absolute star! 

Went out with Barry at the end of the day. Shirley high street where i live have put up the xmas lights. If you squint and turn your head sideways you might just see them. Well done Southampton City Council for going all out this year.

I went shopping in Lidl. Funny place to be, buying pastries when it comes to the checkout is always a mission. You input what you have got and then it bleeps and farts at you that you have the wrong item in the bagging area. It just doesnt like baguettes and doughnuts. 

Every time the bloody machine bleeps and flashes. How hard can it be to understand that we have 1 doughnut in the bagging area. Each time staff come along they say we did nothing wrong its just the machine. I cant not buy my son a baguette if I come to Lidl, he hoovers it up within seconds.

Not looking forward to a morning tomorrow on the phone. However it has to be sorted so just kind of grit you teeth and get on with it. 

Psychiatrist Meeting (updated) and an argument.

As you all know from my post about a little round plaster, I go to see a psychiatrist every 3 months.

This week I complained of symptoms characteristic of mania. All the tell tale signs were there. I answered a lot of questions, some of them embarrassing before my Psychiatrist agreed to try me on another antipsychotic. Its also a mood stabiliser, and it means I can swap my Quetiapine which I don't like, for this new antipsychotic. I have to take it with my evening meal, so around 300 calories. 

My psychiatrist has to write to my GP to explain the rationale behind the new medication as I am already on a lot of medication. We can only hope they agree to it and within a few weeks I can start the new medication. I forget its name, but when my Psychiatrist writes to me as well as the GP I will update this blog post. *Its Latuda.

It seems the only solution to mania is sedation, I explained this to my PDOC in full and why I value my life too much to be sleeping it away. He agreed with me and explained the dosing and PRN medication. There is not much left you see to try with me as I have been on so many medications and some had intolerable side effects. Carbamazepine for one. Its got CARB at the front of its name for a reason..it makes you eat carbs and put on loads of weight!

I also discussed the vagus nerve reset operation. Long story short, I cant have the surgery. Its niche, its a invasive operation and both my pdoc and his colleagues all agree it wouldn't be suitable for me and is best left for those with epilepsy. It was worth a try asking though.

I had an argument with the husband tonight. One thing amongst many thoughts that it taught me, most adult arguments don't end in a apology. They end with stupid questions to get conversation flowing such as "How long have we had that microwave"? and "Has the fridge moved?" Bonding over a cup of tea as a peace offering,

 Besides I can always tell I'm right by the sound of my husband furiously tapping his laptops keys and then the sound of silence.

Stay Fresh!

Cracking time.

 

This was my view today. Its my local but very good Chiropractors.

I have Costochondritis. Its an inflammatory condition, whereby the ribs cartlidge becomes inflamed. Its very painful and take a long while to heal. I also have disks that are bulging and mild scoliosis. My shoulder blade was hurting me the most, today Matthew cracked my back into place. It was a tender sessions with the chiropractic bench doing most of the work. Its a shame that Matthew is leaving as he is one of the good ones that takes gentle time with me.

I recently had a MRI scan to confirm my diagnosis, the physiotherapist seems to think its all in my head but Matthew said that there has been quite a few occasions where when physio say one thing chiropractic say another. For instance the physio that saw me did not spot that I had one leg shorter than the other! Its not unusual for a Chiropractor to look at a scan and find things that a physio misses completely. 

Matthew gave me a good treatment and some exercises to do. It is well worth a visit to a Chiropractor if you are in pain and not getting anywhere with physio. Its not always all in your head, sometimes it takes a different person with a different skill set to point out what needs treatment. I go back in a month where Matthew reckons I should be able to return to swimming. I miss being in the water and splashing about. Matthew said just to get rid of gravity for a while and to just float in the water would be beneficial. its just getting out of the pool as it requires climbing up some steps, that's the problem. There is no way I am being hoisted out of the pool either! 

Have you needed Chiropractic? Would you give it a go? Has physio left you high and dry?

Stop buying fake Crystals!

 Just a reminder real crystals are in the earth to serve all of us.

I am a qualified crystal healer, but I dont heal with crystals any more. I am however still passionate about anti rock mining and pillaging the earth for crystals. Equally I am concerned about the amount of new age fairs selling fake crystals to unsuspecting and naively trusting joe public.

Since gemstone therapy is rising again as people forget they are right under our feet and help us daily , I am spotting more fake crystals on the market.

Gemstone dealers often use weird names to conceal the identity of their crystals. They also do it to make it look more genuine and natural. For instance, if you come across terms like melon moonstone or aqua aura quartz, it is fake. Such fake crystals are usually made from glass and dyed with artificial colours or heated to change the colours.

A super bright crystal with beautiful colour pop is a sure-shot sign of its fakeness. In other words, if the crystal looks unnaturally fuchsia pink or bright lemon yellow, then the chances of it being fake are high.

A natural gemstone will always have imperfect patterns in it. It is due to the natural chemical composition of the crystal. So, if you come across a gem with perfectly symmetrical patterns, it is 100% fake.

What happens when you walk into a gemstone showroom and notice the retailer giving vague answers to all your questions? It could be a strong sign that he is not selling genuine gemstones.

Real crystals have hydrothermal veins, crisscross fractures, or any other type of inclusions. If you don’t spot any such signs, the chances of the crystal being fake are very high here.

Another method to tell if a crystal is real or not, is to check the presence of air bubbles. A genuine crystal will have scratches, small particles, or cracks. But, it will never have air bubbles in it. Their presence proves that the crystal is made of glass and was treated to look like a gemstone.

Its time to give up collecting crystals, real ones are pillaged from the earth and fake ones cost everyone money. Put your trust in God and the NHS to heal you. Look into healthy diets, Pilates and Chiropractic as one example I have done for better health. Dont buy these crystals in subscription boxes either, they are rarely genuine. You cannot get a hand sized Citrine for £14.99!

If you want to buy crystals for whatever reason then go to a ethical supplier. Ask them where and how there crystals are sought, how they are mined and what the cost of them are. You will be surprised that real crystals feel different and come with a higher price tag. It is worth it though, real crystals perform the best for healing also. It is an investment. Ask any genuine supplier whether a £14.99 subscription box with 'real' crystals in it is of any value. I would be surprised if they did not laugh at you. these charlatans seem to be ruling the scene at the moment as crystals have always been ever so popular. However you now know what to look for, keep an eye on what you buy and choose ethical suppliers over the ones that are shouting the loudest.

You wont go far wrong.

*That* Coffee Shop

 

Barry ordering me a spiced chai.

10 mins from where I live is a busy coffee shop. I have met friends, ex friends, new friends and had business meetings in there. That coffee shop has seen me in all my different moods and phases. It was also a place of comfort for my autistic son when he was a toddler. They have old rustic sofas in there that he could curl up on and let a meltdown pass, or he could sit and do some colouring in while munching on a gingerbread man. Yes I said gingerbread man, not person because I am old school and it is what it is.

That coffee shop has seen me help those in tears and those whose laughter is infectious. I have poured over documents in that place and also met my old care co ordinator for a session on my mental health. 

The coffee was good, I dont drink coffee any more, but they do an excellent spiced chai and there cakes are always somewhat stale. There hot food is always just warm, so I dont eat there any more. But there is just something about the vibe of the place. I have seen staff come and go and yet its not them that has me pulled back to the place. The chairs are comfy if you get a sofa type chair, if not its the rejected church pew chairs you get to sit on. The décor is the same, but I find that its really easy to chat to God in there. Could it be a thin place? Im unsure about that one. All I do know is there is hardly a week that goes by without me popping in for a spiced chai.

Its not yet Christmas. Why the Incarnation happened.

    Went to town today with Barry. We bought a Christmas tree before they put the prices up to silly amounts. Only to find that when we got in and were putting it away, we had an sealed box with a Christmas tree in. Clearly I had bought one last year in preparation for this year. Barry was so impressed with me. I wanted to say though that it is November, we have only just got out of Halloween, and the shops have gone Christmas bonkers already.

Down the city centre I am told the Christmas market is out already. Which is a nightmare to navigate as people walk around hypnotised by all the flashing lights and hot Baileys chocolate. Christmas is 6 weeks away, some people are utter sheeple when it comes to Christmas. Spending money on things no one needs, I mean really do you want that Santa snow globe?

Im glad I have plans for Christmas already, things booked in advance. The whole point of Christmas is that you slow down not speed up. And has everyone actually forgotten why we have Christmas at all?

Its the birth of our saviour Jesus Christ. Yet everyone seems to think Christmas is a secular holiday designed for drinking copious amounts of booze and parties. Not many honour the day as sacred. In fact why do people who are not Christian have any right to a day off and a holiday anyway? People don't have holidays for Lent, so why is Christmas any different? Atheists should be working on Christmas day, its just another day to them. 

Im being miserable now.

Christmas brings out the best and the worst for me. I think of pensioners shivering in old damp properties, barely staying warm. Those families who cant afford gifts for their children in high rise tower blocks. Kids rummaging through rubbish and old toys thrown out into the bin,  to make room for the new, for those kids whose parents can afford new. People working in soup kitchens with the homeless. Those who feel isolated and lonely. Those whose family and friends have died and how painful Christmas is for them. Those in wheelchairs or the disabled who cant get out of the house to celebrate. The list goes on.

This time of the year is hard for a lot of people. Those in poverty, those who are ill and those whom society has rejected. For each one of these I pray along with other Christians who DO see those in need and know the real meaning of Christmas, and why the Incarnation came to be. 

This is the Christmas tree, the 4 ft one we bought from Argos. It folds out quite bushy, I am actually impressed for £9. Argos picture from website.

Christmas At Mottisfont.

This year we are celebrating Christmas at Mottisfont. Mottisfont is a National Trust Heritage site and as a family we have never been. We are National Trust Members so we will get in for free. Parking is also free, as we do not fancy a walk through fields with livestock in them. Mottisfont is Romsey way, you can get there by train but by far the best way to get there is by bike. There are cycle lanes that involve some serious scenery.

This year Mottisfont are featuring the Nutcracker. They will be closed until the 23rd November where they will open the doors to the public, with a fully decorated lights extravaganza and decorations with the theme in mind. It is perfect for little ones. I have bought Paul some wellies as its Autumn and muddy, we are going to be walking along the gardens. 

There is also a café and gift shop available on site. Membership is around £13 a month for my family, and I get a gift card to spend at Mottisfont. Membership gets you into many National Trust sites and this is perfect for home educating families. I'm sure Paul is going to moan that the Nutcracker is for little kids but I am going to teach him about set design, what it entails and how much effort goes into it all. I used to be a Stage Manager you see. Back at home I am going to get Paul to have a think and draw his ideal home he wants to live in when he is older. Its all about turning every opportunity for him to think into a educational activity. 

We are hiring out a car for the day to go to Mottisfont, and afterward we are going to Romsey to have a look around. I really want to go to the Wisdom Centre but Barry says this will be too much for Paul. We are going shopping when we get back to Southampton as we have a car it makes sense to do a Christmas shop, well as best we can anyway. 

What are your plans for Christmas?

https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/visit/hampshire/mottisfont

The Landlady: Slight change of plan

 So Barry got a phone call from the Landlady this morning. Good news, bad news. The Good news is she doesnt want us out in February, the bad news is she wants to now sell the property with us sitting in it. This could work out better for us because if the house takes a long time to sell, we get to stay here even longer than next August. The new landlord could take over and want to keep us on as renters and this would mean we could stay here for years if need be.

The bad news is the house could sell really quickly, and the new landlord wants us out. Either way we are not going to be leaving in February as first thought and we can stay at the very least until the house sells. This could take between 3 - 6 months. Especially when all the legal paperwork is drawn up. If the new landlord took us on as tenants we could stay for a very long time, so I suppose this way gives us the  best chance of actually staying here at all. Besides this house is old, on a busy road, and it has damp and mould problems, plus it comes with tenants already renting. It doesn't seem that appealing when it comes down to it.

Either way we get to stay past February which is when our tenancy originally ends. I guess from there on in we would switch to a rolling tenancy until a buyer is found. Then its up to the new landlord whether they keep us on or kick us out. Hopefully they will keep us on and things will be fine, but if they kick us out they have to give us a section 21 eviction notice and then we have to follow those rules to then be housed by the council. Under no circumstance should you just walk out of a property, this would be putting yourself intentionally homeless. You have to stay until the bailiffs come and they give you the correct paperwork to go to the council for emergency housing. Hopefully it will never come to that, however its good to know my rights should the worst happen.

The Shelter website has been a godsend. They give you all your rights in one place when it comes to housing. They also have a very busy helpline and live chat. All their articles however are straight forward to follow and you can easily work out what you need to do to prevent homelessness or what to do should you find yourself in that situation. 

I don't know what will happen to us, fingers crossed the new landlord takes us on and we have many more years here, without extortionate rent too! 

God wants you to know...

 You are chosen - 1 Thess 1:4.

You are called of God - 2 Tim 1:9.

You are being changed into His image - 2 Cor 3:18.

You are a new creation - 2 Cor 5:7.

You are the temple of the Holy Spirit - 1 Cor 6:19.

You are forgiven of all your sins - Eph 1:7.

You are redeemed from the curse of the law - Gal 3:14.

You are blessed - Gal 3:9.

You are the head and not the tail - Deut 28:13.

You are above and not beneath - Deu 28:13.

You are victorious - Rev 12:11.

You are set free - John 8:31.

You are strong in the Lord - Eph 6:10.

You are healed by His wounds - 1 Peter 2:24.

You are free from condemnation - Rom 8:1.

You are reconciled to God - 2 Cor 5:18.

You are joint heirs with Christ - Rom 8:17.

You are more than a conquerer - Rom 8:37.

You are accepted in Him - Eph 1:6.

You are complete in Him - Eph 2:5.

You are dead to sin - Rom 6:2.

You are alive with Christ - Eph 2:5.

You have the mind of Christ - Phil 2:5.

You can do all things in Christ Jesus - Phil 4:13.

You are the light of the world - Matt 5:14.

You are the salt of the earth - Matt 5:13.

You always triumph in Christ - 2 Cor 2:14.

You are beloved of God - Col 3:12.

You are one with Christ - John 17:21.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made - Ps 139:14

Little Round Plaster: My mental illnesses.

 I see that a little round plaster sums up my mental illness picture. Its what they stick on my bum every other Wednesday at the top of my bottom to keep the antipsychotic from running out of my skin. You see I am battling 3 mental illnesses. Have been all my life although I only found out about them just after i gave birth when I had my first ever proper manic episode. Before I gave birth I used to think I had severe PMT. However looking back now I see that it was the Bipolar all along.

I have Bipolar 1, PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I am a DBT graduate and have tried most medications apart from having surgery to re set my Vagus nerve, you name the medication and I have had it. The side effects keep me on a strict regime of Lithium and Quetiapine. It holds the mania back incredibly so I can function like a normal human being. To know me you would never know there was anything wrong except sometimes I am not around for long periods. I tend to stop indoors when I am unwell. Medication increases can sedate me, so I take to bed when I get really unwell. The medical side of life have not invented anything to curb mania without sedating the patient.

Apart from an absence no one knows that I battle these conditions every day. I don't mention it, I don't talk about it to anyone and I certainly don't let it hold me back from doing what I want in life Yes I have been hospitalised with it, and yes I see a psychiatrist every 3 months for the past 10 years. Other than that I am about as normal as you can get. Mindfulness did nothing for me. Everyone raves about it, but Im one who knows its all fluffy clouds and codswallop. Pretty thinking cures nothing. Even DBT isn't strong enough to tackle my PTSD and I've been waiting years for EMDR therapy which by now will be rendered useless as I have learnt to live with PTSD. 

I stay strong to look after my boy, he keeps me stable in himself. I have a active life and am constantly on the go. I don't give my mental illnesses time to take over. Yes I've been unwell in the past, had to go to a mother and baby unit while people in my church 'family' all speculated whether I was 'bipolar all along' when I was newly diagnosed. They even sacked me from my volunteer role (and this was what was helping me through those dark days) and was told the reason was 'its too far to come to church' I told them I had a free bus pass and it was up to me to decide whether it was too far for me to come. They still sacked me any way. It was complete mental health discrimination and had I been working I could have sued them. You can tell I changed church after this appalling behaviour. So much for church family! 

Why am I coming out with this now? Because I want to show the world that mental illness not only is rife amongst the population, but that you should not be ashamed or treated as a 2nd class citizen. Mental illness does not affect your IQ, so people can drop the notion that mental illness means you are thick. I want the world to see a balanced approach to life and the ability to just get on with things is possible.

For those who wear a little round plaster on your bum every other Wednesday don't be afraid to conquer the demons in your life.

We ride at dawn.

Archbishop Welby Resigns.

 The Archbishop of Canterbury has resigned, after a review found his failure to alert authorities to historic abuse in 2013 may have prevented prolific abuser John Smyth being brought to justice. Inside the Church these days we can all agree that culture change is needed within the Church Of England, but will a new leader bring about that change quickly? There is much needed conversations within the higher echelons of clergy about power and control, not just safeguarding that needs to happen.

The Archbishop is now facing those thoughts about whether he should face charges for keeping quiet about the most appalling of abuses. It goes to say that this silence has been costly to Welby who now will be remembered for his lack of action and secrecy, rather than the Archbishop who crowned the King.

Justin Welby is a human being and as humans we all get things wrong. Granted Welby will face disciplinary action but we need to remember that he has family and friends who are in this mess too. This is not to excuse Welby, he is in the wrong however he is being subjected to the authorities and ultimately God. We dont need to jump in on this, things will play themselves out down the appropriate route. We shouldn't drag his family and friends into isolation and slights. It is true that Welby should not have kept quiet, his latest interviews do nothing to help his cause. Those in the Synod agreed Welby should resign and now those same people that make up the Synod need to recognise the humanity and vulnerability of those abuse victims of crime. This sorry story needs to pass and pass quickly for all involved.

Those rejoicing over Welby resigning, Is Lambeth Palace innocent in all of this? How many abuses has the Church played a part of that we still do not know about? Who else is keeping quiet?

We now need a strong leader to replace Welby and steer this sinking ship that is the Church of England into stable waters. It will not be easy, and whoever takes the calling up needs to have a strong sense of direction and authority, and the glorious love of God with the desire to help serve His people.

I think the fall out for churches is to now focus strongly on safeguarding measures to keep people safe. However we can become hysterical about safeguarding if we are not careful, looking in all the wrong places for signs of abuse. We dont want to get to the point whereby a screaming child in church service has everyone paranoid abuse is going on. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. We need a good balance with the community and church family in general. Also its not just children and young people that need safeguarding, its vulnerable adults too. So those who are mentally unwell or spiritually unwell.

We also need to pray for the victims of the historic abuse as the news may open wounds that may never have healed. We need to hold them in prayer as this news story unfurls and we need to remember that something like this must never be allowed to happen again.

Welby , you finally did the right thing. Now its time for God to deal with you from here on in.

Never stay silent when it comes to abuse, silence is sometimes seen as compliance.

Not something you want to secretly take to your grave.

My Home Educated Son

 Paul 13. has ADHD, Autism and type 1 Diabetes. We sent him to school only for school to completely fail him. One teacher told me to my face that Paul was a burden. His mental health suffered incredibly at school. He had a EHCP and meetings were called by the senco who in the end ended up asking me what she should do! Eventually Paul became suicidal and was told he should wait a few more years before he could do Forest School. So what were we to do while we were waiting? Paul didn't have time to kill, he couldn't wait any longer so we had no choice but to take him out of school. Special education schools said Pauls level of education was above what they could offer, yet mainstream school couldn't provide him with a suitable education.

I took him out of school in February 2024, the local authority tried to disrupt his home education but we got together with other home educating families and joined supportive networks who told us our rights . We have not heard from the local authority since Pauls report was handed in. That was relatively easy compared to picking up the pieces of a broken child and trying to convince them that not all education was bad. We took it slow with Paul, slowly meeting other families and slowly doing subjects at home.

Its now November 2024 and so much for Paul being a burden, he is a joy to teach and a pleasure to see flourish. At the moment he has picked his GCSE topics. He knows we will be studying them at home and that he needs to travel for the exams. At the moment he is reading and responding thoughtfully to George Orwell 1984. He is also building his family tree through the study of genealogy. He does lots of topics some outdoors such as bushcraft and foraging, to visits to the Science centre. We are going to London soon to visit St Pauls Cathedral and The Natural History Museum. 

School gave up on my child. I hope that, that never happens to anyone else but no doubt it will. We had to get Paul counselling and we are also taking him to hypnosis soon to help with his ADHD as we are on a waiting list for medication which takes around 2 years. How on earth is he meant to do his GCSE exams with no medication or intervention? We are taking things slowly with Paul, slowly so that he grasps what is going on and without even realising he is being educated for example we often have conversations about religion and philosophy, Paul gets a full education and he enjoys doing it as the topics are relevant he says and can be used in everyday life. I am surprised at his book choice of 1984 but he seems to have taken a shine to politics.

Paul has a varied education and both Barry and I teach him. He has a online school that we have subscribed to that teaches English, Science and Maths. its simple to follow along. Paul much prefers conversations in which he asks questions. Its fun too! He can be baking for the morning and in the afternoon we can be foraging for berries and foliage to make a Christmas wreath. 

Never give up on your child and always seek support from others in your situation. Your child's wellbeing is key and don't ever let a teacher tell you your child is a burden.

Its simply not true.

Some good news regarding our accommodation situation!

 Barry my husband has just got off the phone to our landlady. Good news is we can stay for a lot longer than we first anticipated. Which is great because the housing market is saturated with inappropriate properties that do not fit my families needs. We can now officially call off the house hunting until much later next year.

This gives me time to improve my credit score, possibly start self employment early and for Barry to get a part time job. It also means we can now enjoy Christmas! We are going away for a short break over Christmas and when we get back we will look at things afresh.

This is what you call answered prayer. The right property is available to us but its not the right time yet. I am pleased we can stay in this property for a while longer.

I am now looking on Ebay for a Christmas tree as even though we are having a short break, we want to get the most out of Christmas as we can. I am now looking forward to Christmas so much and I am determined to enjoy the time we have left. By the time it comes to us having to move Barry will be working, our credit score will be healthier and I may have started self employment.

Things are looking up and its all down to group prayer. I have a range of people praying for us and I cannot wait to tell them this good news!

Psalm 34[

1 I will extol the Lord at all times;
    his praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the Lord;
    let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the Lord with me;
    let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
    their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
    he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
    and he delivers them.

8 Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
    for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
    but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
    I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
12 Whoever of you loves life
    and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
    and your lips from telling lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
    seek peace and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
    and his ears are attentive to their cry;
16 but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
    to blot out their name from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
    he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 The righteous person may have many troubles,
    but the Lord delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones,
    not one of them will be broken.

21 Evil will slay the wicked;
    the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22 The Lord will rescue his servants;
    no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.