Essentially Samantha

 Yes, yes it is. I went out to the shops today. Everywhere I looked from what to wear to a thousand different ways to stuff a turkey, Christmas is commercialised. The meaning of the celebration which is Christs birth has long been forgotten in a xmas bonanza of egg nog lattes and pink xmas tree's.  There are shops specialising in what to wear for xmas, that all important big event, the main attraction being a table stuffed full of treats. But why are you even doing this? Do you even know where the turkey came from? Do you know why we have presents? Do you even know that church is open for a service on xmas day? Do you even know why we celebrate December 25th? or has it all been lost in German markets and crunchy sausages and flat warm beer?  I looked through my copy of Good Housekeeping today and out of around 100 pages telling me what to eat, wear, smell like on the 'big day' I found one article by Rev Kate Botley. She asked the same questions such as is xmas commerciali...

  I'm Teetotal but if you ever catch me drinking the mulled wine, don't let me convince you I can do a backflip. NO. I. CANT. Black Friday deal : Saving money on Chiropractic.

  I know there is a lot of talk about pensioners going cold this winter and I feel for them, I really do. But what about people like me who are also on benefits and cant afford to heat my home? I have a heater in each room and I heat my rooms as I go in it. 3 people in my house dependant on one heater, per room. We too have to decide between heating and eating. Our house has a damp and mould problem also, so private sector doesn't have adequate housing either for the winter. Its not just me its the silent majority. Its not just pensioners that are cold. Last year we all got pneumonia , this year we have already had a bad cold and the temperatures are not even that low yet. I've spoken to loads of people in my situation in private rent and on benefits and they cant afford to heat their homes either. Often damp and mouldy properties and the families are paying in excess of £1,500 a month for rent. Its not just pensioners that are cold and hungry. There needs to be a real campaign...

  Rishi Sunak and his wife avoiding public scrutiny by changing their company to 'unlimited'... just as David Cameron did ... Seems to be a pattern with Tory Prime Ministers eh? I wonder why?

 The cold we all have is absolutely dire. It consists of a head cold that leaves you feeling every tooth in your head throb. Sudafed is king here. Today I had my depot so I had to go to a medical centre to have it. I cannot miss this injection it keeps the psychosis at bay. It works really well for me despite the side effects. I still have not heard about Latuda from the doctors and its been over a week now. We are all flued up so we have decided to cancel the wreath making workshop I was looking forward too. I'm giving away my two tickets to my church family community for 2 people to get in for free. I wouldn't want the tickets to go to waste. There is no way me, Paul and Barry are up to foraging for berries and pine cones for making a wreath. Besides I have no idea where my secateurs are. I stopped off for a spiced chai at the coffee shop on the way back from my depot. I needed a hot drink to carry me home. Strange how I only felt really unwell when I actually got back home. ...

 We all have a cold! Tissues and heaters are the order of the day. We have a wreath making workshop to go to on Friday which I dont think we will attend. I've got to get my depot injection on Wednesday and the house valuation is also on Friday. I'm sure if we feel no better tomorrow we will have to cancel too. My family are supposed to be coming down on Saturday so I have to be better for them. Honestly each year we catch the flue because of how cold it is in this house. We have heaters on but it doesn't keep the cold at bay. Last year we all had a chest infection that turned into pneumonia.  Perhaps moving out is a blessing rather than a hurt after all, besides if like me its a choice between heating and eating maybe moving to a property with a higher EPC rating is just as well. Meanwhile I have my beef with Deliveroo. Spent £30 on cold and flu supplements only for the driver to give me someone else's bag. I opened it up to find senna and califig that I spend all that ...

 Apologies for no blog entry over the weekend. As the title says it was my wedding anniversary and also Christ The King. I didnt actually make it to church because my son's sleep pattern has gone out. He is autistic amongst other disabilities and he has Melatonin to help him sleep but every now and then he does what we call a sleep reset. This is where he stays up for as long as possible and then goes to sleep. It takes a few days for his sleep rhythm to right itself but compared to him going to bed at 4am and sleeping until 1pm every day the sleep re set works as eventually he will go bed at midnight and wake up at around 8am. I hate these sleep resets as it means I cant leave the house as Paul is also type 1 diabetic and not quite fully independent yet with this. So therefore I couldn't go to church and when you think about the fact that even when I got married I still went to Christ The King the next day. You can gather how much CTK means to me. I have not had Holy Communion...

 Why on earth does everyone describe their goods as bloody 'buttery soft'? New plants? buttery soft leaves, New knickers? buttery soft gusset. New lampshade? buttery soft touch? Marks n spencer sandwich...buttery soft... butter.  Not everything is BUTTERY SOFT!  Equally another irk of mine is Putin.  Some of the media are showing they are afraid of nuclear war. They believe that Putin is insane enough to launch nuclear weapons. They also believe that such an insane man can be negotiated with. What do you believe?

About 14 years ago I was caught up with the 'Truth' movement. A global idea that there are a ruling class of elites that govern the world for there wicked agenda. There was a new world order, a one world government, one world currency, HAARP, Chemtrails the list goes on. 911 was an inside job and we are all being secretly controlled by the Illuminati. I was so into all of this. On my facebook were hundreds of other truthers around the world and together it was our job to 'wake' the world up to these conspiracies.  During this time I discovered the truth about Christ, and came to faith. This is the only good thing that came from this time. I started to question everything. The bible says to test everything hold fast to that which is good. So as I began questioning living off grid and chemtrails I met with annoyance from my truther family. Some started calling me names and coldly calling me out as a sheep. I still questioned everything until I met with sane people who tol...

Had a peaceful day, managed to call the DWP and Universal Credit. Both confirmed the amount we owe, and that they wouldn't take it back in one lump sum. They are going to take it back in small increments over the next year or so. So that's a worry out of my mind. I noticed Right Move estate agents sent me a list of 28 new properties to look through. Barry has a property viewing Friday morning. I am hoping we will go for it as you know I just want to move and be done with. Its not far from where we currently live but a new area all the same.  Paul is doing really well with his home education. Today I discussed college with him and a college course not far from us that is gaming development. I also told him he could go straight into work and the average salary for a game developer is around £30 an hour. He was amazed. I also told him he could easily go into lighting and audio as a side hustle if he came to terms with different software and technology. For now we are doing a diplo...

 Well I was doing quite well until the post came. Apparently we have been overpaid by the DWP and owe around £500. No explanation, no proof of breakdown, nothing. They say it so it must be right. On top of that they say that the figure we are looking at might change and they will confirm this in writing.They say the DWP will write to us and you can bet your backside they will take it in one lump sum just before Xmas.  And its not just us, a few of our friends have had this letter also. We are going to call the DWP back tomorrow to confirm this is accurate and not some scam. They left no breakdown, dates etc of when this overpayment happened. How do we even know if it is correct? Another headache for us to sort out. I did however manage to speak to my brother. This is a rarity. He is always busy with his three gorgeous children, and I understand this so dont push the matter. One of his kids, my nephew is turning out to be a superstar. I cant go into details here on this blog bu...

As you all know from my post about a little round plaster, I go to see a psychiatrist every 3 months. This week I complained of symptoms characteristic of mania. All the tell tale signs were there. I answered a lot of questions, some of them embarrassing before my Psychiatrist agreed to try me on another antipsychotic. Its also a mood stabiliser, and it means I can swap my Quetiapine which I don't like, for this new antipsychotic. I have to take it with my evening meal, so around 300 calories.  My psychiatrist has to write to my GP to explain the rationale behind the new medication as I am already on a lot of medication. We can only hope they agree to it and within a few weeks I can start the new medication. I forget its name, but when my Psychiatrist writes to me as well as the GP I will update this blog post. *Its Latuda. It seems the only solution to mania is sedation, I explained this to my PDOC in full and why I value my life too much to be sleeping it away. He agreed with me ...

  This was my view today. Its my local but very good Chiropractors. I have Costochondritis. Its an inflammatory condition, whereby the ribs cartlidge becomes inflamed. Its very painful and take a long while to heal. I also have disks that are bulging and mild scoliosis. My shoulder blade was hurting me the most, today Matthew cracked my back into place. It was a tender sessions with the chiropractic bench doing most of the work. Its a shame that Matthew is leaving as he is one of the good ones that takes gentle time with me. I recently had a MRI scan to confirm my diagnosis, the physiotherapist seems to think its all in my head but Matthew said that there has been quite a few occasions where when physio say one thing chiropractic say another. For instance the physio that saw me did not spot that I had one leg shorter than the other! Its not unusual for a Chiropractor to look at a scan and find things that a physio misses completely.  Matthew gave me a good treatment and some e...

  Just a reminder real crystals are in the earth to serve all of us. I am a qualified crystal healer, but I dont heal with crystals any more. I am however still passionate about anti rock mining and pillaging the earth for crystals. Equally I am concerned about the amount of new age fairs selling fake crystals to unsuspecting and naively trusting joe public. Since gemstone therapy is rising again as people forget they are right under our feet and help us daily , I am spotting more fake crystals on the market. Gemstone dealers often use weird names to conceal the identity of their crystals. They also do it to make it look more genuine and natural. For instance, if you come across terms like melon moonstone or aqua aura quartz, it is fake. Such fake crystals are usually made from glass and dyed with artificial colours or heated to change the colours. A super bright crystal with beautiful colour pop is a sure-shot sign of its fakeness. In other words, if the crystal looks unnaturally...

  Barry ordering me a spiced chai. 10 mins from where I live is a busy coffee shop. I have met friends, ex friends, new friends and had business meetings in there. That coffee shop has seen me in all my different moods and phases. It was also a place of comfort for my autistic son when he was a toddler. They have old rustic sofas in there that he could curl up on and let a meltdown pass, or he could sit and do some colouring in while munching on a gingerbread man. Yes I said gingerbread man, not person because I am old school and it is what it is. That coffee shop has seen me help those in tears and those whose laughter is infectious. I have poured over documents in that place and also met my old care co ordinator for a session on my mental health.  The coffee was good, I dont drink coffee any more, but they do an excellent spiced chai and there cakes are always somewhat stale. There hot food is always just warm, so I dont eat there any more. But there is just something about ...

    Went to town today with Barry. We bought a Christmas tree before they put the prices up to silly amounts. Only to find that when we got in and were putting it away, we had an sealed box with a Christmas tree in. Clearly I had bought one last year in preparation for this year. Barry was so impressed with me. I wanted to say though that it is November, we have only just got out of Halloween, and the shops have gone Christmas bonkers already. Down the city centre I am told the Christmas market is out already. Which is a nightmare to navigate as people walk around hypnotised by all the flashing lights and hot Baileys chocolate. Christmas is 6 weeks away, some people are utter sheeple when it comes to Christmas. Spending money on things no one needs, I mean really do you want that Santa snow globe? Im glad I have plans for Christmas already, things booked in advance. The whole point of Christmas is that you slow down not speed up. And has everyone actually forgotten why we have...

This year we are celebrating Christmas at Mottisfont. Mottisfont is a National Trust Heritage site and as a family we have never been. We are National Trust Members so we will get in for free. Parking is also free, as we do not fancy a walk through fields with livestock in them. Mottisfont is Romsey way, you can get there by train but by far the best way to get there is by bike. There are cycle lanes that involve some serious scenery. This year Mottisfont are featuring the Nutcracker. They will be closed until the 23rd November where they will open the doors to the public, with a fully decorated lights extravaganza and decorations with the theme in mind. It is perfect for little ones. I have bought Paul some wellies as its Autumn and muddy, we are going to be walking along the gardens.  There is also a café and gift shop available on site. Membership is around £13 a month for my family, and I get a gift card to spend at Mottisfont. Membership gets you into many National Trust sites...

 So Barry got a phone call from the Landlady this morning. Good news, bad news. The Good news is she doesnt want us out in February, the bad news is she wants to now sell the property with us sitting in it. This could work out better for us because if the house takes a long time to sell, we get to stay here even longer than next August. The new landlord could take over and want to keep us on as renters and this would mean we could stay here for years if need be. The bad news is the house could sell really quickly, and the new landlord wants us out. Either way we are not going to be leaving in February as first thought and we can stay at the very least until the house sells. This could take between 3 - 6 months. Especially when all the legal paperwork is drawn up. If the new landlord took us on as tenants we could stay for a very long time, so I suppose this way gives us the  best chance of actually staying here at all. Besides this house is old, on a busy road, and it has damp...

  You are chosen - 1 Thess 1:4. You are called of God - 2 Tim 1:9. You are being changed into His image - 2 Cor 3:18 . You are a new creation - 2 Cor 5:7. You are the temple of the Holy Spirit - 1 Cor 6:19 . You are forgiven of all your sins - Eph 1:7. You are redeemed from the curse of the law - Gal 3:14 . You are blessed - Gal 3:9. You are the head and not the tail - Deut 28:13 . You are above and not beneath - Deu 28:13 . You are victorious - Rev 12:11 . You are set free - John 8:31 . You are strong in the Lord - Eph 6:10 . You are healed by His wounds - 1 Peter 2:24 . You are free from condemnation - Rom 8:1. You are reconciled to God - 2 Cor 5:18 . You are joint heirs with Christ - Rom 8:17 . You are more than a conquerer - Rom 8:37 . You are accepted in Him - Eph 1:6. You are complete in Him - Eph 2:5. You are dead to sin - Rom 6:2. You are alive with Christ - Eph 2:5. You have the mind of Christ - Phil 2:5. You can do all things in Christ Jesus - Phil 4:13...

 I see that a little round plaster sums up my mental illness picture. Its what they stick on my bum every other Wednesday at the top of my bottom to keep the antipsychotic from running out of my skin. You see I am battling 3 mental illnesses. Have been all my life although I only found out about them just after i gave birth when I had my first ever proper manic episode. Before I gave birth I used to think I had severe PMT. However looking back now I see that it was the Bipolar all along. I have Bipolar 1, PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I am a DBT graduate and have tried most medications apart from having surgery to re set my Vagus nerve, you name the medication and I have had it. The side effects keep me on a strict regime of Lithium and Quetiapine. It holds the mania back incredibly so I can function like a normal human being. To know me you would never know there was anything wrong except sometimes I am not around for long periods. I tend to stop indoors when I am unwe...

  The Archbishop of Canterbury has resigned, after a review found his failure to alert authorities to historic abuse in 2013 may have prevented prolific abuser John Smyth being brought to justice. Inside the Church these days we can all agree that culture change is needed within the Church Of England, but will a new leader bring about that change quickly? There is much needed conversations within the higher echelons of clergy about power and control, not just safeguarding that needs to happen. The Archbishop is now facing those thoughts about whether he should face charges for keeping quiet about the most appalling of abuses. It goes to say that this silence has been costly to Welby who now will be remembered for his lack of action and secrecy, rather than the Archbishop who crowned the King. Justin Welby is a human being and as humans we all get things wrong. Granted Welby will face disciplinary action but we need to remember that he has family and friends who are in this mess too...

 Paul 13. has ADHD, Autism and type 1 Diabetes. We sent him to school only for school to completely fail him. One teacher told me to my face that Paul was a burden. His mental health suffered incredibly at school. He had a EHCP and meetings were called by the senco who in the end ended up asking me what she should do! Eventually Paul became suicidal and was told he should wait a few more years before he could do Forest School. So what were we to do while we were waiting? Paul didn't have time to kill, he couldn't wait any longer so we had no choice but to take him out of school. Special education schools said Pauls level of education was above what they could offer, yet mainstream school couldn't provide him with a suitable education. I took him out of school in February 2024, the local authority tried to disrupt his home education but we got together with other home educating families and joined supportive networks who told us our rights . We have not heard from the local ...

 Barry my husband has just got off the phone to our landlady. Good news is we can stay for a lot longer than we first anticipated. Which is great because the housing market is saturated with inappropriate properties that do not fit my families needs. We can now officially call off the house hunting until much later next year. This gives me time to improve my credit score, possibly start self employment early and for Barry to get a part time job. It also means we can now enjoy Christmas! We are going away for a short break over Christmas and when we get back we will look at things afresh. This is what you call answered prayer. The right property is available to us but its not the right time yet. I am pleased we can stay in this property for a while longer. I am now looking on Ebay for a Christmas tree as even though we are having a short break, we want to get the most out of Christmas as we can. I am now looking forward to Christmas so much and I am determined to enjoy the time we h...